PHd in Scatology

I have to cut myself a break.  Its okay to be sad or  disappointed or even down right angry. Acknowledge it so I can move on! Today was James' awards celebration at school. It was an intimate gathering in his class. His teacher made a digital montage of the year in pictures that played on the big media screen while she handed out the awards.  Then the school psychologist and the speech teacher gave achievement certificates.  It was lovely and sweet and James sobbed, howled, and cried through the entire event.  He begged anyone to get him out.  He tried the speech therapist, his occupational therapist, even another parent.  I tried all the tricks to calm him although I knew nothing to work.  I knew he was constipated and wanted to go home.  We drove home, James listening to his therpuetic listen CD.  I pulled over 10 minutes in to the half-hour "session" to change the CD for the final 20 minutes  His OT thinks it might be to intense for him so I am carefully limiting the exposure.  Obviously it's working because he was great at his uncle and aunts house for Father's Day - even with two toddlers.   Happy as a clam.   As for the cause of his extreme upset-ness at school?  Poor sweetheart didn't even make it up the front stairs before he went in his pull-up.  I have to figure this potty thing out.

James does not go to the bathroom at school.  This year we have seen him pee in his pull-up and that is HUGE.  Previous teachers and administration put him on a schedule to "catch" him.  Took him to the bathroom every 30 minutes.  This schedule was adhered to at outside therapy, at home and even at Grandma and Grandpop's house.  James simply stopped going.  His diaper would only be full in the morning.  As for number 2, we had to give him a suppository every few days and when he'd finally go, he'd be sobbing and hysterical.  So I stopped the ridiculousness of the schedule and he eventually would go at home again.

Thank God for his teacher.  She fought the administration with me, and James no longer has to follow the 30 minute schedule. It is a proven, potty training program that works for almost all autistic kids.  For the rest?  Some wind up in the hospital with bladder infections, bowel obstructions and even ruptures.  His teacher says it in a nutshell: "James is his own man."  Now James, comfortable again, occasionally pees in his pull-up in school but NOT poop.  The only time he did, we wound up going to the pediatrician the next day where he was diagnosed with strep throat.

I am trying to figure out how to get him to use the potty, but so he thinks it is HIS idea.  We tried the "naked baby" method. 13 hours later, James was bent over, miserable, with the most distended stomach.  When he finally went - on the toilet - he sobbed and shook.  No lesson learned.  Like an idiot I did this for three days.  Stupid stupid stupid.  Back to square one.

Please don't suggest running water, pouring warm water over him, or other simplistic tricks like treats or rewards.  Believe me, it has been tried.  We read potty books, we have an open bathroom door policy.  James has even sat on my lap and read books while I use the toilet.  Talk about stage fright.  It is weird he understands, he gets that we do it.  He empties his diaper into, and then flushes the toilet.

I have him eating so much fruit and fiber so he cannot really "hold it" for too long anymore.  For a short while he was pooping at the end of the bath as the water drained and would then quickly get out.  Freaky yes.  Could this somehow translate to the toilet?  Maybe!  It was the bathroom.  We would clean up and flush everything away.  Sadly he stopped. He was probably on to me.