Smitten

Sure I get annoyed at my son.  I am not pleased at the return of his sleepless nights. His protests and complaints about things in life with which he does not agree (like going in the house when he wants to stay and play ball even though thunder is rumbling) are events I could live without! But, still, I melt when I watch him sleep, when he takes my hand in his and brings it to his lips, when he smiles from ear to ear knowing he successfully said "lollipop." We are truly blessed to have such a crushingly sweet little boy. It also fills me with joy because this is not a learned skill but, rather, a personality trait unique to James.  I love seeing James emerge despite his autism.
As a baby, James was curious, outgoing and friendly, engaging people and animals wherever he went.  When the darkness descended, that baby disappeared.  I can't express enough how wonderful it is to see that child again!   James hears a noise, he turns to see what it is.  He hears a child and stops everything to watch them go by.  He has even caught a little girl walking home from school in his ball playing trap.  She wanted to play! The big boy downstairs starts to play basketball and James flies to the window to watch.  Of course, this has it's drawbacks.  A child is having their own meltdown or is simply upset and James goes wild with despair.  If the lunchroom is too noisy, he cannot concentrate enough to eat.  Fortunately, these problems are workable.  I assure James that the upset child is being taken care of.  That, in itself, is amazing: James can listen to my reassurance and process it!  At school, he "reads" books to direct his concentration away from the noise.  When that is too much, noise canceling headphones are used.  We will get past this.  It is much better then the previous James that didn't/couldn't/wouldn't notice a screaming, bright red, fire engine racing by.
So we are holding steady.  Still no luck with the potty.  Still no increase in using words.  Lots of improvement in his awareness, his agility and - of course - his ball playing skills.  Even more importantly, James is engaged and happy.  Meaning, we are happy! We are actually enjoying our son.