When James was little his transition from place to place or activity to activity was HORRENDOUS. Full on tantrums in the street. His special preschool assigned him a one-on-one paraprofessional because they were worried about his behavior on their many stairs. So, we began using a little photo album. We had pictures of school, of his sensory gym, of all the objects and rooms in our apartment. We had a special section for the beach house and even a separate book for family and friends. It worked. James still complained, loudly and seemingly endlessly, but no longer attempted to slam his head into the concrete. I considered that a huge development. Soon James understood my words, regardless of an image (although the photos still exist for reinforcement). It was great! I LOVE having to explain something to my son! Again, he'd occasionally protest, but he'd accept his "fate." As time went by, James wanted to know more and my words had to grow. I introduced "First . . . then . . ." and even the bribe "If. . . then . . ." Very proud of myself, I was.
Fresh from vacation, James is on to a new phase. NO. Perhaps it was the influence of his toddler cousin who is obsessed with the word (so much so that his mom joked about changing his name) But I am not sure. James understands - what is next, where we are going or what we are doing - and beautifully gorgeously clearly shakes his head "NO." He makes a noise too but so far, it is unclear. What do I do? How do I deal with this? So far, it is: "Sorry James, I have to wash your hair." Oh the sobs! Yesterday at school, he protested so much that he drenched his shirt with tears and sweat. I know we can deal with this. I know it will all work out. Perhaps he is aware of the upcoming, month-long summer vacation where we shall concentrate on all things POTTY and is just preparing for the inevitable knock down brawl. Who the heck knows!
All I can say is: Awareness rules but it can sure be a bitch.
1 comment:
Hey! you sound like you're on the right track with schedules and "first this, then that".. reminds me of the worst days of our lives so far... my daughter started tantrumming, (including the heartbreaking head banging)at around 4 and continued for several years. it was a lot of hit and miss and hard work but she has become compliant and less frustrated and more able to communicate ...all i can say is that figuring out the function, and giving replacement behaviors and words to escape and obtain the tangibles especially, will make the tantrums not necessary for him. he is just trying to communicate SOMETHING. but when you already know what he wants (also use that opportunity to teach him to ask for it so others can help in your absence) and you can explain when he can have it or that he can't, he then needs to accept that harsh reality and to wait..that can take awhile unfortunately!! it is so much work. but the payoff is worth it, every day i feel grateful now that i can leave the house, that she can go places, and that she can express herself in terms of her specific desires (grilled cheese, just cheese, yellow cheese, no tomatoes...etc etc). her school placements also become less restrictive..but still at times (daily?) i worry and see her tears and watch her work it out when things aren't the way she expects them to be. and i reward her for staying calm etc etc etc...hang in there, do what you need to do to help him communicate another way. and especially to help him wait.<3
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