James, Mach II

A month off.  It was WONDERFUL.  It felt normal - I felt normal. Just woke up everyday and lived with my kid. We played, laughed, ate, slept, whined and cried.  Did chores. Went on outings. There were times that we stayed outside for the entire day.  There were others when the tears came fast and furious because the rain made outdoor play impossible. Although Dad only had a week off, James and I were okay.  For the first time ever, for an extended period, I didn't feel ALONE with him.  I don't know when we turned that corner, but we did and I am so, so grateful.

James walked in to the local store with me, every morning, for coffee, newspapers and - of course - a donut.  He learned to hold his donut bag up so the cashier could see it.  He was adorable.   I decided to make a trip to the library with him.  We had gone before but it had always a trial for him.  Occasionally, I would luck out and get him interested in a book.  This time, I stuffed everything I needed in my pockets so my hands would be free for a potentially tantruming kid.  That didn't happen. Instead, I was uncomfortable, my phone digging in my butt, after sitting on the floor for 45 minutes reading book after book.  Then I told him he could pick out five books to bring home.  And he did exactly that.  He even told Grandma "five" on the phone.  It was garbled but she understood.

I tried having him walk into the grocery store instead of riding in a cart.  No problem.  Confidently striding beside me, squeaking away, (his "happy" noise), as rude people gaped at my kid "with three heads."   I even made a few stops occasionally, making James get out of the car every time.  Some protesting but zero tantrums.

At home we jumped on the trampoline, played ball, splashed in the pool, watched movies, read books, listened to music, worked on puzzles, AND colored.  James has this new, bizarre and wonderful desire: to color.  He has always always HATED coloring.  At first he would drop the crayon or throw it.  Then he would make a mark before chucking it.  Hand over hand was the only way to get him to make a mark.  Last spring I could get him to make marks independently (although begrudgingly). One day on holiday, he pressed the "to color" button on his talker. Yeah right.  BUT, lo and behold, James wanted to color. It took five pages in a coloring book to satiate his appetite!

Last but not least, I am stunned to report that James smiles and laughs and hugs way more frequently.  I thought he was affectionate, happy and loving.  Boy, did I NOT know what a affectionate, happy and loving kid was!

Now back home, James is off and running: Dribbling a basketball while walking to the corner store.    For the past two nights, coloring hasn't been enough, James has been painting his homework.  Greeting daddy with hugs when he walks in after work.  Laughing at funny things on TV.  Yelling "MOM" when he fell off the bed.  These are all new things that have happened in the past three days.  I am thrilled. I am in shock. I am thankful.  I am terrified.