So a picture is worth a thousand words? I so hate when cliches are proven true! Dad asked "What do you have there? Show me what's in your hand!" And what did James do? HE SHOWED HIM!! I can't express the power of this image. The very ordinariness is what is so shocking. James' reaction to his father's request was NORMAL and immediate. God bless David for having the camera ready!
Despite my previous trepidation, we had a lovely, relaxing three day weekend. We spent Saturday running around on the beach. Finally it wasn't freezing and we were so glad to get OUT! James completely loved the open air and the crashing waves. He even stuck his feet in the water despite our admonishments when he was getting close - and he knew he wasn't supposed to! My kid was being bad!
I also snuck in a leisurely and decadent lunch with my best friend from high school. Don't get ideas, it was only decadent because it was just the two of us without families, out to lunch without a care! Then later, while New Jersey watched the play-off game, the three of us took advantage of a vacant Home Depot! James was even patient while his parents searched for just the right color green for yet another painting project. On Monday, it was a family lunch in a child-friendly restaurant with trains and an arcade. While I think we adults liked the trains better than James, he was well-behaved and ate his chicken tenders and fries. The only "blemish" being that he wanted to watch his DVD most of the time. Although once acclimated, we did catch him watching when the trains went by and checking out the other kids. Later, I stayed home and finished the painting project while James and his father went to the beach again. That's where the killer photo session occurred. James not only enjoyed watching the water, he really loved playing in the mountains of winter-storm strewn sand. He even laid down and made "sand angels." It is wild to have sand in your car and all over your house in January! The day got even better when David took James to the boardwalk for pizza (especially considering this invovled a brief car trip).
It is a wonderful, liberating feeling, knowing James could have fun and be a good boy, with and - gulp - without me. But it's a bigger, deeper feeling, a realization, that I am trying to convey. I take care of him and his world first and foremost, and then that of my husband, a poor neglected second. I really and truly do not even consider myself. I am getting better. I used to have to remind myself to have a drink, or to eat. I also regularly brush my teeth now. Sound ridiculous? There was a time, not to long ago, when James could not be left alone for a second. A moment alone let him retreat into another world where it was hard to pull him out. He need 24-hour care, especially as he did not sleep more than four to six hours a day. And now? Of course James needs me BUT it is no longer dire. To have James here, at this juncture, one I did not know for sure he would ever achieve, makes tears stream down my face. And because if it, I am slowly emerging, to have lunch out, to remember to brush my teeth regularly, to act on an inspiration to transform my kitchen. That last item is a big one and really proves to me how far we have come. I had a somewhat creative idea, a whim, and with an encouraging, helpful, flexible husband, fulfilled it. This art major's creativity usually only emerged wrapping christmas presents! Perhaps now I will allow myself to dream, not just for silly home decorating, but for James' future. A terrifying subject I have been carefully whisking from my mind.
I also snuck in a leisurely and decadent lunch with my best friend from high school. Don't get ideas, it was only decadent because it was just the two of us without families, out to lunch without a care! Then later, while New Jersey watched the play-off game, the three of us took advantage of a vacant Home Depot! James was even patient while his parents searched for just the right color green for yet another painting project. On Monday, it was a family lunch in a child-friendly restaurant with trains and an arcade. While I think we adults liked the trains better than James, he was well-behaved and ate his chicken tenders and fries. The only "blemish" being that he wanted to watch his DVD most of the time. Although once acclimated, we did catch him watching when the trains went by and checking out the other kids. Later, I stayed home and finished the painting project while James and his father went to the beach again. That's where the killer photo session occurred. James not only enjoyed watching the water, he really loved playing in the mountains of winter-storm strewn sand. He even laid down and made "sand angels." It is wild to have sand in your car and all over your house in January! The day got even better when David took James to the boardwalk for pizza (especially considering this invovled a brief car trip).
It is a wonderful, liberating feeling, knowing James could have fun and be a good boy, with and - gulp - without me. But it's a bigger, deeper feeling, a realization, that I am trying to convey. I take care of him and his world first and foremost, and then that of my husband, a poor neglected second. I really and truly do not even consider myself. I am getting better. I used to have to remind myself to have a drink, or to eat. I also regularly brush my teeth now. Sound ridiculous? There was a time, not to long ago, when James could not be left alone for a second. A moment alone let him retreat into another world where it was hard to pull him out. He need 24-hour care, especially as he did not sleep more than four to six hours a day. And now? Of course James needs me BUT it is no longer dire. To have James here, at this juncture, one I did not know for sure he would ever achieve, makes tears stream down my face. And because if it, I am slowly emerging, to have lunch out, to remember to brush my teeth regularly, to act on an inspiration to transform my kitchen. That last item is a big one and really proves to me how far we have come. I had a somewhat creative idea, a whim, and with an encouraging, helpful, flexible husband, fulfilled it. This art major's creativity usually only emerged wrapping christmas presents! Perhaps now I will allow myself to dream, not just for silly home decorating, but for James' future. A terrifying subject I have been carefully whisking from my mind.
