As the parents of our autistic sweetheart, one of our biggest disappointments - barring the obvious can't talk / use the toilet - has been James' inability to participate in activities we love.
We were overjoyed when he started to love music. We started with soundtracks from his favorite movies and it has expanded. His major joy for the past year has been Chuck Berry, although he still likes his soundtracks and has dabbled recently with Johnny Cash, the Libertines, and has even listened to his Dad's new album. Unfortunately, James gets VERY upset when David plays guitar. It actually induces shrieks of horror. My poor husband, the musician! Thankfully, we are starting to see little signs of "warming." For instance, James likes to play - aka bang and pluck a few strings - on one of David's acoustic guitars. He especially likes to do this when I don't want to get out of bed in the morning. He thinks he is really playing and dances to his "music." Once in a blue moon, David is even allowed to play, but it is still pretty rare. One of these days, maybe we'll even get to teach him how to play correctly!
Another sadness involves drawing and painting. It is a chore for James. He has come a long way from where he would simply drop the writing implement. Then, for years, hand over hand (with a vise grip), was the only way a mark would be made on a page. Now my hand is more of a light pressure, a guide and a touch. When he is writing his name, I often let him "fly solo." Then one day, while we were doing homework (it was coloring), I let him choose the medium. I thought the choices were either crayons or markers, but James picked painting! Wow. Although, he has painted in school, we had never used these successfully at home. We blew through an entire weeks-worth of assignments that night. So now paints are part of our "things to do" repertoire. During a recent snowstorm, I asked James if he wanted to color. I got out a big pad of newsprint and he picked these cool creamy crayons that let you color and paint. Well what are we going to draw? Nothing interested him until I hit on "Mommy?" James nodded. Purple round circle for a head which we then changed to paint with water. What color is Mommy's hair? James chose yellow. Eyes? Blue! Then he drew my glasses! It was his decision too! This initiative is especially great to see, because, with James, I must "talk" him through activities. Like a running monologue. For instance: Now we are going to color the sun. Where is the sun? What color are you going to make the sun? Play does not come naturally to James so I must encourage and help him learn. Next he drew/painted a suggestion of my sweater. I thought he was done and made him sign his name. But he wasn't finished. James picked up another crayon and drew my mouth. He made me smile! Me - the authority figure, the one who corrects him, redirects him, makes him communicate, makes him repeat activities until he succeeds, and won't let him stim his life away - James drew me smiling! Although my eyes were filled with tears, I was grinning from ear to ear. You better believe David framed that baby up immediately!
Another sadness involves drawing and painting. It is a chore for James. He has come a long way from where he would simply drop the writing implement. Then, for years, hand over hand (with a vise grip), was the only way a mark would be made on a page. Now my hand is more of a light pressure, a guide and a touch. When he is writing his name, I often let him "fly solo." Then one day, while we were doing homework (it was coloring), I let him choose the medium. I thought the choices were either crayons or markers, but James picked painting! Wow. Although, he has painted in school, we had never used these successfully at home. We blew through an entire weeks-worth of assignments that night. So now paints are part of our "things to do" repertoire. During a recent snowstorm, I asked James if he wanted to color. I got out a big pad of newsprint and he picked these cool creamy crayons that let you color and paint. Well what are we going to draw? Nothing interested him until I hit on "Mommy?" James nodded. Purple round circle for a head which we then changed to paint with water. What color is Mommy's hair? James chose yellow. Eyes? Blue! Then he drew my glasses! It was his decision too! This initiative is especially great to see, because, with James, I must "talk" him through activities. Like a running monologue. For instance: Now we are going to color the sun. Where is the sun? What color are you going to make the sun? Play does not come naturally to James so I must encourage and help him learn. Next he drew/painted a suggestion of my sweater. I thought he was done and made him sign his name. But he wasn't finished. James picked up another crayon and drew my mouth. He made me smile! Me - the authority figure, the one who corrects him, redirects him, makes him communicate, makes him repeat activities until he succeeds, and won't let him stim his life away - James drew me smiling! Although my eyes were filled with tears, I was grinning from ear to ear. You better believe David framed that baby up immediately!
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