Stim . . . and Stim Some More

Self-stimulation is one of the great autistic mysteries.  I mean, we all do it in some fashion - biting your nails, tapping your foot, drumming your fingers - but autistic stimming is quite extraordinary.  James' "stims" involve the senses.  They are heavily visual and incorporate sound and movement.   His favorite is to sit and flip balls or small toys around in his lap.  Soon he will start to bounce as well.  If I let him go, he adds some screeches.  Yikes! He even tries to involve me, lure me by suggesting we play ball. It always dissolves into stimming.  Of course that is my fault.  I hated the way stimming would take him "away" and would insert myself.  Recently, exasperated with the situation, I asked him:  James, WHY do you stim? (and yes, he completely understands the term).  "Hah-Pay" he said and nodded.  You stim because you are happy?  Yeah.
Wow.  I know he stims when he is trying to keep himself awake and when he has to go to the bathroom.  I am not sure if he is trying to avoid the task or distract himself because he finds it unpleasant (or it hurts).  Regardless, it seems stimming helps James to cope.  Wether he is happy or tired or constipated. When he is sad or hurt or afraid, James is verbal and seeks out interaction but these other feelings or emotions require that he stim.  It is so bizarre.  Lots of parents are horrified and try to make their child stop.  I find that hilarious.  Don't waste you breathe folks.  I do understand redirection.  James used to bang the heck out of his chin.  Not good.  Brushing and joint compression and a weighted vest have helped James but not eliminated the behavior.  Obviously he needs it.  I try to let James know he can stim in his room but that he can't do it all the time, that he has to interact with the world around him. And he does, in his own way!  The most recent development is hugging.  He now hugs his Occupational Therapist every morning.  Okay, not exactly normal but it gets his point across, and rather sweetly too.  Our James will never be normal and we don't want him to be!