My last meeting with the school administration was the final straw. We have had many fruitless meetings, about creating a behavioral intervention plan, about giving James' day more structure, about incorporating the iPad in James' day, but the kicker was Tuesday morning. At first I had to re-explain how I wanted more structure in James' day and how I planned to help by updating his iPad with each week's lesson plan. While these were not new concerns nor the first time I expressed them, it was apparently new to this person. Sigh.
No, I don't think my parents knew everything that was happening at my school, but my parents had a kid who could talk. I have no problem writing a monthly newsletter for parents to keep them current. Please don't write an email about that now. No, I don't need a "title," I don't work here. Can we get back to James? Since you feel James can't have a 1:1 because he is not ill or violent or self-injurious yet, can we somehow help him handle his anxiety of loud children? Perhaps remove him from the classroom (a weekend), and slowly introduce him back? First maybe circle time and trials, then we go home. Not to fun but to a structured day. We'll have the lesson plan to help keep current and provide drawings and sentences to the teacher to show how we spent our time. Meanwhile, we keep making the day at school longer. Stay longer each time or perhaps come back at lunch and stay? Until, finally, James is back at school. What does my doctor think of medication? Honestly? My doctor told me to pull James out of this school immediately. That you have dropped the ball continually since James' teacher left last year. I agree with him that putting a new teacher, three violent children, and all new aides into a classroom was not wise, and unfortunately affected James' adversely. No, I do not think James' crying and screaming is about avoidance of work - but about avoidance of the entire classroom.
What I did NOT say is that the Doctor - after I mistakenly said I wanted to work with James' school as they were so helpful in the past - admitted that maybe they weren't the worst. He told me about a boy whose school that encouraged medication because he acting up even though he hadn't been seen by a doctor let alone had a diagnosis. Keep them docile rather than address a problem. Oh my.
Regardless, the final answer from the school was NO to my plan to ease James' anxiety. Later it was reported to James' teacher that it was a great meeting. Wow. The next day, I met with the Board of Education. We talked options, different schools and where James would fit in all this. After eight long months of stress, worry and continual useless meetings - while we watch our son regress - we decided to homeschool James. I can program James' iPad for my own lesson plan, I can ensure his participation, I can merge life and school in a way that will benefit his future life, encourage James to become part of his community instead of driving all day, and move his therapy schedule to the day to add sports and other afternoon social activities. It will be hard but it is the right thing to do, for James, and for me and his Dad.
